Heights

I used to really like to climb. Around 7 or 8 years old I developed a phobia about heights. As a child, I treed myself and had to get someone to get a ladder and get me down, twice, that I can remember. I’ve always regretted getting on a rollercoaster SO HARD everytime it began it’s climb to the top.

We were sitting up on the edge of the big bowl at Kona yesterday and my heart was in my throat the whole time, I used to hate that feeling, time’s are changing.

I dropped into the biggest ramp I have ever dropped yesterday. Yes, I fell and slid down the last quarter of it on my ass. Yes, there may be splinters. But, I took the drop.

I climbed up there and looked over the edge and freaked out for a solid 30 minutes. Telling myself there was only one way down. Rolling. I stood on the top of that ramp looking over the coping and I remembered everytime I climbed a tree and couldn’t find the courage to get down. Hell, that ramp was bigger than most of those trees.

I took the drop. I may not have climbed back up to the top after I fell for a second attempt to stick it.

Sticking it is yet to come, and I am still so proud of myself.

Sliding down that bitch on my ass is going in my book of wins today.

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Moonday

I woke up this Monday morning and put on blue without planning. I did plan to think about gratitude. It was the first thing I did when my eyes opened. I brought my mind to fucus on all I have to be grateful for. Thanks Oprah.

I got out of bed and put on a blue shirt. It felt amazing. Later I see it is raining, when bringing Lorali to chorus, and I chose a blue jacket. I kept my blue glasses on instead of changing to contacts.

I did my usual mug full of water with lemon then switched to coffee. Feeling super lunar today I’m craving more h20, I want to switch back to water,instead of having another cup of coffee. Drinking more water feels right on this rainy monday.

Turkey

1 (12 pound) whole turkey
3/4 cup olive oil
2 tablespoons garlic powder
2 teaspoons dried basil
1 teaspoon ground sage
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
2 cups water

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Clean turkey (discard giblets and organs), and place in a roasting pan with a lid.
In a small bowl, combine olive oil, garlic powder, dried basil, ground sage, salt, and black pepper. Using a basting brush, apply the mixture to the outside of the uncooked turkey. Pour water into the bottom of the roasting pan, and cover.
Bake for 3 to 3 1/2 hours, or until the internal temperature of the thickest part of the thigh measures 180 degrees F (82 degrees C). Remove bird from oven, and allow to stand for about 30 minutes before carving.

Mac

2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni
4 tablespoons butter
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups milk
1/4 onion, minced
salt and pepper to taste
1/4 pound processed cheese food
1/4 pound shredded Cheddar cheese 1/4 pound shredded Swiss cheese

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Prepare the elbow macaroni according to package directions.
Meanwhile, melt the butter in a small saucepan over medium high heat. Stir in the flour until a cream colored paste forms. Then pour in the milk and stir constantly until this comes to a hard boil, then stir for 1 more minute. Remove from heat and set aside.
When the macaroni is cooked, spread 1/2 of it into the bottom of a lightly greased 9×13-inch baking dish. Then layer 1/2 of the grated onion, 1/2 of the salt and pepper and 1/2 of each of the cheeses. Repeat this one more time: macaroni, onion, salt and pepper and cheeses, and then pour the reserved white sauce over all. Top off with small pats of butter to taste.
Cover and bake at 350 for 45 minutes

Sweet potato casserole

4 cups sweet potato, cubed
1/2 cup white sugar
2 eggs, beaten
1/2 teaspoon salt
4 tablespoons butter, softened
1/2 cup milk
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/3 cup all-purpose flour
3 tablespoons butter, softened
1/2 cup chopped pecans

Preheat oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Put sweet potatoes in a medium saucepan with water to cover. Cook over medium high heat until tender; drain and mash.
In a large bowl, mix together the sweet potatoes, white sugar, eggs, salt, butter, milk and vanilla extract. Mix until smooth. Transfer to a 9×13 inch baking dish.
In medium bowl, mix the brown sugar and flour. Cut in the butter until the mixture is coarse. Stir in the pecans. Sprinkle the mixture over the sweet potato mixture.
Bake in the preheated oven 30 minutes, or until the topping is lightly brown.

Southern-Style Green Beans

http://spicysouthernkitchen.com/southern-style-green-beans/

Green Beans cooked low and slow until soft and tender in a bacon-infused broth.
Recipe type: Side Dish
Serves: 6
Ingredients
4 slices bacon, diced
2 pounds green beans, ends snapped off and longer beans snapped in half
2 cups chicken broth
2 cups water
1 teaspoon seasoned salt
½ teaspoon black pepper
½ teaspoon garlic powder
¼ teaspoon red pepper flakes
1 tablespoon butter, optional
Instructions
Brown and crisp bacon in a large pot. Remove bacon from pot and reserve.
Add green beans to pot along with all remaining ingredients, except butter.
Bring to a boil and then turn heat to medium-low. Cover and simmer for 1-2 hours, stirring occasionally.
Drain beans and add butter if using. Check beans for seasoning and add extra salt and pepper to taste. I like lots of black pepper. Sprinkle with bacon and toss to distribute the bacon and butter.

Anxiety

examples would be:

“Remember your breathing”
“Remember ”
“Would you like help me to help you to somewhere quieter/safer/calmer?”
“I’m here if you need me.” (At this point, you should leave them alone unless they ask)
“You’re panicking, it won’t last. You’ve got past this before, you’ll get past it again”